EYBBL Season 5 Round 1 Closer

We're off again, with a thrilling start!

ROUND RESULTS

DIVISION 1

With the pre-season announcements of several changes in the league, the rumour mill was in full swing, and the expectations were high. Nuffle knows the fans were not disappointed.

The talking point of this division was a Round 1 rematch between the current champions The Evil Gitz and Blood Sweat and Beers, who were cruelly deprived of a maiden win in season 4's final.

It's a good time to be a Norse fan, and it's a time of vindication as the team obliterated the Underworld Denizens in their first game, taking full points for casualties, touchdowns and a clean sheet.

Some might say it's one game too late, but the grudge has finally been settled as the Gitz limp on to their next fixture.

We caught up with the jovial Beers' fans as they left the stadium. Asking about the game, one supporter commented:

"Loved it mate. I've a cousin on me dad's side that's half-Goblin, and I can finally sit down at the same table as him without calling him a c**t. It's a beautiful time."

It's good to see that on top of the entertainment, the sport is healing the rifts and divisions of our society.

Fans of the Grand Maws were also treated to an explosive start. With the team finishing Season 4 solid mid-table, the owner's eye is most certainly on the playoffs.

Going up against league newcomers 50 Shades hailing from skin-crawling Sylvania, the Ogre coach seems to have tapped into his contacts on the Elven circuit, temporarily signing a former Feywild Falcons star, and present free-agent Renford Wildbloom.

This proved to be a million gold piece signing, as Wildbloom single-handedly led the team to a 3-1 victory against the thirsty Vampires, with the Blockers and Punter securing some much-loved casualties.

Despite the league's rules prohibiting the permanent signing of such players, it'd be interesting to see whether Wildbloom will feature as a permanent fixture in the team as they navigate the financial loopholes.

Lastly - don't we all love the smell of viscera in the morning? I know I do!

And this time it comes courtesy of the Foul Fellas, who take the unofficial prize of First Blood, permanently deleting Bummerson's Best Boys Slayer off their roster.

To quote my good friend Grimbur Gorminson "you're going in the book for that!".

DIVISION 2

A solid performance from the Lothern Lions over Luther's Roses takes them to the top of Division 2.

There has been a controversy, causing some of its proponents to coin the term "elven bullshit"; the idea being that Elf teams tend to have an inherent advantage in the sport.

I have been asked by Glorien Eldros, the chair of Elven Relations within the league, to state:

"Such accusations are clearly nonsence created by the lesser races and their amateruish teams, to tarnish the good name of Elven athletes across the Old World. In any case - there's 3 Elf teams in this division, so eat your boots".

Unfortunately, many of the Naggarond Sea Drakes fans have been disappointed as their game was forfeited by the team's coaching staff due to an unforeseen issue with their transport vessel. Apparently, their ship is currently stuck somewhere off the coast of Estalia.

The DDtroit Busters weather mages might have something to answer to, but the commissioner reports no official investigation has been launched yet.

Current Standings

NEWS FROM THE OLD WORLD

Last-minute touchdowns or last-minute stabbing? - fans debate.

Star Blitzer Dies, Is Resurrected, Dies Again - who gets the insurance money?

Elves complain about fouling, Dwarfs laugh for hours - one casualty reported in a recent Barak Varr match as supporter chuckles to death.

Join us next time, as the East Yorkshire Blood Bowl League moves into Round 2!